Saturday, January 7, 2017

2016 - Finding Hope and Healing Admist the Mess

This past year has been an interesting one. It's been very messy emotionally, it's been a struggle to find balance for all the things I feel called to do, and it's been one of learning and growing in a new life as I've fallen in love with the most amazing man. 

The trials that came up this year were unexpected, but that's just how life goes. Heavenly Father likes to keep us on our toes so we can learn and grow. We are here to be changed, changed for the better. We are here to draw near to our Savior, and to learn of Him and have the empathy and compassion that He unfathomably has. 

This year I've had some incredible experiences, ones that weren't so incredible in the midst of me going through them. There was a time this year when all I wanted to do was disappear off of the earth. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do, and yet after it was over my heart had this new connection to the Savior, one I hadn't felt before in all the 20-something years of my life.

It was the greatest blessing to be able to launch, everything came together perfectly with the website design and the video we made, and the inspiration for what this blog was to be... I felt so connected to God and everything I had been working towards for the past 10 years was finally coming together; THEN life took over once again. I felt writer's block, I felt what I was doing didn't really matter, I felt STUCK (which is something I can't even begin to explain, but if you've experienced it before, you simply GET IT), and on top of all of that I had anxiety that paralyzed me and I don't use those words lightly. I knew my life had turned into chaos and something had to be done. On top of all of this I was experiencing some digestive issues and some not so fun physical symptoms and I wanted to get to the bottom of it. 

I had been to my family practitioner over and over again and nothing was ever being found. I asked a friend if she had any references of where I could find some help as she gave me the name of an incredible lady. Someone that has helped me immensely this year to have a deeper love for myself and a pointed me towards the messages Heavenly Father has had for me all along. As I've been able to filter out some false beliefs I have had about myself and the nature of God, I have found so much hope and a new sense of wholeness I've never had before. I learned that I have leaky gut which has been one of the main culprits of all the emotional and physical struggles I've been experiencing. 

Upon learning I had leaky gut, I've been approaching eating an entirely new way this year. At first, it was hard. At first, Satan would try and stop me with incredible dark forces from being healed. There were moments this year where I lost all hope, all light, and had no faith or hope in healing or in a need to be healed. I know Satan knows me, He knows my mission, and He knows how to throw the dark forces that have the potential to keep me from fulfilling what I was born to do, which I know with my whole heart ties so deeply into health. I've been able to line upon line learn how to silence Satan's words so I can take power over my own life and eat the foods that are good for my body which means completely getting rid of the SAD (Standard American Diet, it really is SO sad) I've been so accustomed to and eating ONLY whole foods and whole ingredients. 

It's been hard, I go to parties and people either think I'm weird or anorexic. People will say things to me like "You're already so skinny, you don't need to be on a diet." and other people will say "Someone has to be THAT person." UGH. Why do people say things like this? You know what, I know. It's because they aren't comfortable with who they are yet. They are still learning who they are, what their mission is, and what it means to truly love themselves. I've been there, in fact, I'm still there. Learning to really love me. We make judgments about others when we aren't content with ourselves. These judgments come in many forms from jealousy to comparison, to the unkind words we speak directly to others, to even the silent words we may say through our looks, our attitudes, or even the gossip to those whom we most trust. 

On this journey of learning about my physical and mental health, I'm embracing change and a chance to heal; fully and completely. It's not going to be easy. I have brokeness and emotions buried in me that haven't been dealt with, we all have these buried emotions. But it's beautiful that Heavenly Father allows the trials we experience to have deeper meaning than meets the eye. His plan is perfect!

I've been studying so much about holistic health and the way our bodies have the ability to heal and were meant to heal. We have the obstacles we have in this life so that we can learn to OVERCOME! Christ overcame death and we are here to learn how to be like Him. I have found so much incredible peace and joy in studying about healing, wholeness, and the nutrition benefits in all the food God has blessed us with. This year I will be going through a course to be a holistic nutritionist. I'm so incredibly excited. I want to help bring hope and wholeness to others. If you've had any questions about holistic health, we should talk. It is only through Christ we can find complete and everlasting wholeness, but nutrition sure plays a role in our relationship with Him because our emotions have a way of getting in the way and blocking off the Spirit.

So while it's been a year of learning, and growing, it's also been a year of answers, of hope, and of finding Christ in the most beautiful way. Good things are coming and the best is yet to be!

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