Straight up pure anxiety and fear has lived in my heart for over a month. It's this deep fear that I can't seem to shake off. I've tried so hard to fight it on my own. I wrestled with it over and over again. I felt lost and like I was falling. I was holding back. I was trying to fight parts of this anxiety on my own, not giving Christ my entire burden but only a portion of it for fear that if I gave Him the entire load that was weighing me down, my fear would simply come true. First of all, that's not pure and honest faith. Second of all, that's not how God works anyways. God is FOR US, not against us! No matter who you are, what you've done, where you're headed, or what state your heart might be in at this moment; Heavenly Father STILL loves you, STILL wants the best for you, and He is STILL cheering you on! He doesn't want to punish you. He doesn't want you to be miserable. Natural laws and opposition that exist on the earth today may bring pain and hardship on your life, but I truly believe with my whole heart (and I could be wrong) but God isn't punishing you. Punishment comes in the afterlife, but for now opposition is just a part of this mortal journey and it's not God that is taking the desires of your heart away from you.
GOD IS FOR YOU!
This morning I read my scriptures with REAL INTENT. I was looking for the tender mercies of Heavenly Father and the blessings only possible through Jesus Christ in the words of the Book of Mormon. I found some treasures, but even more than that I found my heart resting in Jesus Christ. I found peace and comfort.
Am I still anxious? Yes, of course. It's going to take some practice in controlling my thoughts and seeing life in a new light. Can I overcome it? ABSOLUTELY! God didn't give me this anxiety. He doesn't give us our burdens. He allows them to happen, and He allowed opposition, but it isn't a curse or a punishment. He wants us to learn how to draw down the powers of Heaven to have all the blessings we could ever desire. He wants what we want, we just must first desire what He wants which is why we must learn to give our hearts to Him.
The powers of Heaven are SO REAL! God wants us to be happy. Christ suffered in ways we can't fathom for our happiness. So of course there is hope. Of course we can overcome the trials of this life. Of course we can make choices that bring us happiness and have God's blessing of our righteous desires. We simply have to trust God and obey Him to the best of our abilities according to the laws He has laid before us. But every good thing in this life comes from Heavenly Father. It's about us learning to rest our heart, hopes, and happiness at the feet of Christ trusting in Him. God is on your side and Heaven is cheering you on!